Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Star Wars Figures Kissing Star Wars Figures

As a child, I always felt awkward when I wound up having two of the same action figure. Did this cause confusion amongst them, when the light went out did they argue? Each vying for the title of the "real" Darth Vader or Han Solo? Were they filled with existential doubt?

As I got older, I became convinced that my doubles were more likely to be seized by a powerful lust for one another. What name would be given to copulating with your double? Is it incestuous or simply masturbatory?

I now feel bad for the single figures, who have never known the sweet taste of their own lips.

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